Diary of a COVID pregnancy: 5 months
My husband and I are currently expecting our third baby.
In many ways, we’ve already ‘been here, done that’: pregnancy with a second or subsequent child is certainly different to the first time round when everything is new and unknown.
But every pregnancy is different – whether owing to symptoms, risk factors, or the current stage of your life, family and your resulting priorities. In our case, our daughters are now busy 5 and 3 year-olds, so the things we now spend our time doing are vey different to when I was pregnant first time round. Personally, since we had our last baby I have trained as a hypnobirthing instructor and childbirth educator, and am now fully immersed in the world of birth work in a way that gives me a new perspective to the one I had with my previous two pregnancies.
And of course, this time, we’re doing something that less than a year’s worth of parents will have done before us – preparing to meet our baby in the middle of a global pandemic.
This monthly diary* intends to chart the ups, downs and questions we’re dealing with during this unique time. I hope I can offer other pregnant women an honest take on my thoughts and anxieties as they evolve, and as a hypnobirthing instructor, I hope I can share some insight about things I’m doing to manage them.
*(Of course, in true 2020 style, all plans have been repeatedly thrown off by school closures and having to oversee a Kindergartener on Zoom for half the school year, so there’s a bit of a time lag on these ‘monthly’ installments. Nothing like keeping it real, hey?!)
You can read about what was going on at 4 months here.
Weeks 18 - 22
It’s hard to believe that we’re now over the halfway point in this pregnancy! I remember the countdown feeling agonizingly slow when I was expecting first time around; once you already have kids to chase after, the weeks just whizz by.
A big tick off my to-do list this month was securing a doula to support us with our birth. (For anyone who doesn’t know what a birth doula is, in short it’s a non-clinical professional who supports you and your birth partner through the later stages of pregnancy, labor and birth. They use their wisdom and experience from witnessing many births previously to be able to provide you with emotional and physical support, help you to advocate for yourself, and are a sounding board to help you make decisions that you feel confident about. There’s a lot of evidence showing that having that continuity of care can improve birth outcomes, as well as your overall satisfaction with birth. You might be interested to watch this video to learn more – in short, I think they’re God’s gift to women and everyone should be able to be supported by one in their birth journey!) Sadly the wonderful doula who supported us with our daughters’ births has now retired, but I’m thrilled that another wise and wonderfully experienced woman who I know through my hypnobirthing work is available to support us. We had a great chat on the phone where I was able to fill her in on my previous birth experiences, my hopes and anxieties about this one, and some of the preparation we’ve already done. I’m looking forward to working with her more closely in the later weeks of my pregnancy.
In terms of symptoms, I’m continuing to feel really well – definitely in the sweet spot of the second trimester – although have days when I feel absolutely ravenous! My waistline is starting to feel the effects – have had to cobble together some more colder weather maternity clothes this month from friends, plus a few new purchases, as definitely starting to need them now! People often post maternity items on their local Buy Nothing groups on Facebook, so always worth a look there if you’re in need.
Halfway through this month I had our 20-week anatomy scan. This is the one that my husband definitely would have come to normally, so it was a bit strange that COVID precautions meant I had to go alone, but I was thankful that I knew what to expect and none of the prior blood tests had thrown up any concerns. Unlike with our previous two pregnancies where we were team ‘surprise’, we decided to find out the gender this time round. I don’t know if it was a desire to have some certainty at a time when there’s so much beyond our control, or just a way of making this pregnancy feel different, but my gut was telling me to find out and if motherhood has taught me one thing, it’s to follow your instincts. I wanted to find out the news at the same time as my husband, so the sonographer took some extra images and sweetly sealed them in an envelope with a celebratory announcement for us to open at home together. For some reason my Dad wants to try to retain the surprise for the birth, so we’re not broadcasting what we’re having, but it was a fun way to mark the halfway point of this pregnancy!
My newfound sense of freedom with the return to in-person schooling for my 5 year-old last month was, sadly, short-lived – a series of COVID cases in some of the upper grades have necessitated a switch back to in-person learning for now. She’s disappointed, but also enjoying the novelty of having an iPad from school and learning over Zoom, and I am leaning on ALL of my calm birth skills to see me through! Simple things like practicing gratitude daily, calm breathing exercises, and repeating key affirmations definitely help to put me in a more accepting frame of mind. If living through COVID has taught me anything this year, it’s to channel the notion of controlling what you can, and letting go of what you can’t – something that absolutely rings true in birth as well.
I’ve also started making time for a couple of things specifically for me this month. I’ve started prenatal yoga again – taking a full class on Zoom on a Saturday morning through local Philly studio Mama’s Wellness Joint, and supplementing with shorter on-demand classes through the Peloton app when I can squeeze in 20 or 30 minutes. I’d never done yoga before my first pregnancy, but loved how it gave me time to tune in to my body and really notice where I was experiencing niggles and pains, and that mind-body connection was really great preparation for birth. Plus, with two kids tearing around the house, it’s a legitimate excuse to have some quiet time just for me!! I’ve also been reading a great book called Why Postnatal Recovery Matters by Sophie Messager, in preparation for a book group discussion with some of my fellow Calm Birth School instructor colleagues. The thought of transitioning to become a family of five with the potential for no wider family support and who knows what kind of restrictions still in place thanks to COVID, is a little daunting I have to say, but this book has helped me focus on how I can consciously plan for that period to ensure a smoother recovery for us all. I’m definitely going to start looking for a postpartum doula to support us in those initial weeks. More on that to come!
